Mama's Musings

Jonah is quickly becoming a little boy.

When we get out of the car and head into our condo building he doubles over my arm as I carry him and scrambles down, his singular goal to climb the stairs up to our floor by himself. He giggles as he goes and periodically looks behind him to make sure I am there, but does not want me to pick him up. Arriving at the hallway of our floor he stands up and walks himself all the way up to our door. He is pleased as punch that he has made the trek unassisted. Andrew and I layed in bed last night and talked about how much he looks like a little boy when he is making that walk down the hall. He walks around our house all the time, hardly ever using the bear crawl anymore, but there is something different about that walk outside the confines of our home.

When he is in that hallway he is out in the real world. He loves it. He explores as he goes along, checking out each doormat along the way. There is freedom there. He has tasted it and he loves it. That taste of freedom however, is a bit more bittersweet for me. While it is nice to not have to lug a 25 pound boy up 3 flights of stairs along with my groceries, it is definitely a trade off. It is another moment that I am not 100% ready for. Another thing bringing me closer to the baby being gone and the boy coming in.

I have never professed to love babies. They are a very difficult breed and tend to be far more take than give for my liking. But...they do have their perks. For example, they cuddle. When they are small with largely no worthwhile use of their legs, you can cuddle on them with no ceasing. This is no longer the case when they grow and can literally just walk away from your cuddle advances. They fit in your lap (or on your chest, depending the size of the baby). Now Jonah is all arms and legs hanging off of me. He has become more of a blanket when he is draped across me.

In comparison, I would definitely choose the Jonah I have now over the Jonah that we struggled with in infancy. Cute as he was he was quite the handful. He has always had a definite personality...a big personality. But now he has a sense of humor and a laugh that just makes my heart swell. He is smart and willful and will be a challenge to us for the rest of our lives I am sure. But he is going to be someone great. He is gonna be a wonderful man, as soon as he is done being a wonderful boy. I just hope that goes by a lot slower than the baby part did.